I clearly do understand why “stealing”, in whatever form it
takes, is considered evil. People usually despise the very nature of the deed regardless
of its shape or the end it endeavors to obtain, which is to say, its purpose. “Thou
shalt not steal” could have not been listed as a commandment if the case is
otherwise.
Yet even with stealing- is- evil status quo, there will
always be people who remain unmoved with the idea. God knows why.
This made the act of stealthily taking a book out of the
university library without a plan of returning it bearable to my so called
conscience, if I have one, two years ago. Even with the risk of being caught
and suffer the consequences afterwards, the thought of those people who choose
to do what is generally believed to be wrong, made me care less and just pursue
my plan of stealing the book. That is how I had my own copy of Jim Crace’s The Devil’s Larder.
According to the book’s description written on its cover,
The Devil’s Larder offers 64 short fictions about food, sex, desire, and its
death. I have read not all the short tales in it yet, just a few ones. So far,
my favorite has been tale number 62.
Tale number 62 is about a widow who after cremating her
husband, had put the ashes in a pot and used it as seasoning into her meals. She
had gotten the idea after she heard an actor talking on the radio about how he
had his cat cremated after it died, put its ashes in an airtight pot, and add a
tiny pinch of the ashes each time he made a soup or stew, or a cup of coffee. The
actor said that it was comforting to have the cat inside him and he recommended
it to anyone with pets.
But unlike that of the actor’s, the widow’s comfort after
making her husband’s remains as food seasoning, was less than she had expected.
Instead, she heard her husband’s voice singing from her stomach at night. It
would not let her sleep. No peace came unto her.
She visited a doctor. “You can’t eat grief. It’s far too
strong and indigestible. You have to let the grief eat you. You have to let the
sorrow swallow you.” - these were the doctor’s words who advised the widow. She
was told to bury her husband’s ashes and let him go, and then she’ll be happy
with the quieter life she had earned by loving him.
A sad tale it is. The tale presented the misery of a widow
after losing her husband without telling much how she mourned for her lost and
by telling instead how she struggled for comfort to have him in her and to feel
possessed by him.
The notion of seasoning one’s food with the cremated ashes
of a departed loved one might not sound so inviting but it is not at all
insignificant. Rather, it gave the tale a somber approach to the readers that
there is no need to relate how the woman grieved or should grieve just to make
it a sad story.
The tale suggests reconciliation at the end when the doctor
advised the woman. She was told that in a month or two, she will find the peace
as she had hoped and she will be able to carry on if she would let the sorrow
swallow her. This might also be the reason why the tale did not describe to the
readers how the woman lamented. You can’t
eat grief. It’s far too strong and indigestible. It might be possible that
she had not been able to grieve because she was in a hurry for comfort and that
haste for getting over and done with sorrow led her to follow the actor’s route
but only resulted to restlessness.
You have to let the
grief eat you. You have to let the sorrow swallow you. It might also be
possible that the doctor advised the woman to take time to mourn for her dead
husband before letting him go. This might be the only way to get over the pain
and find peace.
One can get this from reading the tale – sorrow, although
temporary, is a state of mind which cannot be extinguished immediately. It is
something to be realized and experienced first before time completely kills it
away.
